Coupla Weeks

Well, I've been quietly sort of running over the past couple of weeks. The week after Falmouth was a bust despite my motivation -- lots of work to do from the cape and not much rhythm. I got in one swim but it wasn't much to write home about. I may have done a short run, but I honestly don't remember. I returned from the Cape and went to tri training session the following week. I mis-read the schedule and brought my sneakers when I should have brought my bike... I swam and went for a short run, somewhere in the neighborhood of 25-30 minutes. It was super humid and the black flies were assaulting my head.

I got in one more run that week but don't remember which route I did, it may have been a shorty. Can you see that I'm really into it right now?

Last week I did the tri training, swim/run and one more run, a short one. I just got back from tri training and did a swim and bike ride. I'm awful on the mountain bike when I ride it like 4 times each year. I need to get in another ride or so to get comfortable on the clipless pedals. The swim was fine, i wasn't super motivated, but did it. The ride was fun despite not being 100% comfortable. I went slow and gabbed with a fire fighter from Cambridge. There is a full run through a week from Wednesday.

I'm rediscovering that I really love the running etc., more than drinking and that it makes me feel better than drinking... right now I'm a drinker with a running problem more than a runner with a drinking problem. I think I'm going tomorrow for a run. I like how it makes me feel, and though one wouldn't think so, I need to keep reminding myself about how much I like the exertion.

One bit of business that's going undone: I have an entry form for the CCM Relay. Who's in? I want to fill it out tomorrow even though it's going to cost more because it will be in after 9/1. Also, psyched to hear VTR is considering VCM '10. I've been thinking about it and I'm in. I need to run it.

Ugh

Motivation is incredibly low right now. Not sure why. not sure what's up. I'm NOT into this right now. I havent run since Thursday. I have other things on my mind and running is not one of them.

Lots of Thinking

So . . . I've been sitting around a lot and thinking. Not running much, not motivated to do so even though I've got 26.2 miles all at once, in my future. I get bursts of motivation but they fade. See, I'm in a weird spot: I'm between gigs; Mrs. A is busy as anything so I'm being Mr. Mom and there is no rhythm, for me anyway to the domestic day. I am definitely a creature of habit, and rhythm. I need badly to get back to work, to eat up some time and get me on a schedule again so that I use my time more wisely.

As far as motivation, I'm not sure what my issue is. I think it's tied into the out- of-work-thing. It's draining to be unemployed and even if I'm not spending all day job searching it's always in my head and it's exhausting. I've got a couple of really good leads and I'm hopeful that I can nail something down, soon. Also on the motivation front something hit me last evening after returning from a meeting: I'm tired of my current state of running mediocrity. As I've mentioned in an earlier post, I've been licking the lollipop of mediocrity a bit too much and I'm on the verge of sucking. I can't have that. I'm going out today when Mrs. A gets back from her meeting -- three or four, just to get out. It's cold and the wind is honking (to use an old sailing term), but I'll get something in.

I also just read a post on a blog that I discovered today (through another blog I follow) called the Art of Manliness. The article is the Warrior's Guide to True Manliness, and it's terrific -- read the article, but here are the paragraph heading from the four meat-of-the-article paragraphs:

• Master Your Body


• Use Death as your Guide


• Choose the Path with Heart


• Fight Every Battle as if it was Your Last

I'm looking for anything that I can right now, and this seems like a pretty good start. Thanks for hearing me out, I'm just trying to get my head on straight and get into this again.